Stay, girl, STAY!

The above phrase is one I've used countless times with our family pets over the years. It's been especially common with our most recent addition, Lucy, but more so back when we still fantasized that maybe one day she would listen. While it hasn't been too effective with Lucy, I'm hoping I can talk myself into it.

No, I don't generally run at top speed before leaping on top of someone. But as I only have 33 1/2 days left here, it's already getting a little difficult to be present (probably counting down doesn't help too much). Life here has settled into a rhythm. I'm haven't had any exotic adventures in a few weeks, and the exciting daily discoveries of a new culture have slowed. Plus, I have so much to look forward to at home! Anticipating time with family and friends and my last semester at Wheaton makes it easy to check out and go on a little mental vacation to the good ole US of A. Yet I don't want to spend my last month+ here mentally absent. I have to remind myself that today I live in Santiago, so I have to stay in Santiago, not only physically but mentally as well. 

Plus as it’s turned out, I’m more or less a failure at cultural adaptation. My “adapting” to the DR can be best compared to a rollercoaster. My emotions from day to day or even hour to hour are outrageously discrepant; I can’t manage to maintain being happy or sad or angry or even ambivalent. Which is humbling considering how culturally competent I used to think I was. Also, I am a big fat complainer. I complain about my food, my host family, my classes, the weather, the language, you name it. Which, if you’ve followed my blog, you already know. Although the traditional culture shock diagram has been largely irrelevant to me since I’ve never followed the typical culture shock trajectory, I’ve taken enough diversity classes to recognize the signs that one is adapting negatively to a new environment. And I won’t for a second deny that’s me. I could write a book on all the things I’ve rejected in this culture, for better or worse. What’s more, I used to consider myself more or less an optimist, but I’ve found here that a lot of time I struggle to see the good in things. 

But there comes a time when you have to make a decision (regardless of your life situation, your cultural context, or your God-given temperament) to appreciate who you are and where you are. Despite the stinging comments, the carbohydrate overload, and the occasional nights alone playing Solitaire, I know that coming here was not a mistake. A dear professor encouraged me recently to “assume there is a plotline here”. Life has a plotline, and when you can’t see the plotline, check out the scenery. Meaning, I can’t know the “point” of my being here (since becoming fluent in Spanish is not happening, although I am improving), but I can take small steps to appreciate the beauty in every day. So here’s the goal: for every day, I have to come up with something I like or appreciate about the country, the culture, or just little blessings that come along. And I'll probably post a few on the blog, so stay posted!

Today I am appreciating the fact that tomorrow I get to cross an item off my bucket list: learning to kayak! The DR really has it all -- mountains, beaches, cities, countryside, you name it -- that allow for a million incredible different experiences. Pictures to come!